Self-Explanitory

Purely Gratuitous

Random Chick Taste Tests Ice Cucumber Pepsi

The Awesomeness Is Palpable

A Historical Triumph

I had lost my faith that this day would come. I had lost my faith that the American people would look past their prejudices and elect the candidate who was by far the most qualified for the office of the president despite the color of his skin. I've never been so thrilled in my life to be so wrong.

I did my part. I got the message out, I donated, and I voted. But at no time did I think it would all come to fruition, I simply knew I had to do it because the alternative was unacceptable.

I am beaming with pride and fighting back tears. The implications of this win are glacial. What is important right now is today. Today, we chose to work together instead of tearing each other apart, we chose hope over fear, we chose truth over lies, we chose excellence instead of mediocrity, we chose progress instead of cynicism. We chose one of the most highly educated candidates in modern history to be our leader. We set our petty jealousies aside and chose excellence over 'joe sixpack'.

If Barack Obama decided to quit every time someone told him that he could not do something, he may not have even left the womb. People, both out of kindness and malice, told Barack Obama that he could not be what only certain people could be...and he heard them and kindly dismissed them.

'Today' means everything to me. I don't know what the future holds but the evidence is solid for a very productive and positive presidential term. My anxiety for Barack Obama to live up to his expectations is at its bare minimum. He is the entire package.

Today I got my country back, my faith restored, and pride I never knew existed. When I travel to Europe I no longer have to pretend to be Canadian. When I walk outside I see the landscape in a different light than I did yesterday. I lived through a seismic shift in how our population views itself...and I'll never forget it.

Well, It's Creative...

Purely Gratuitous

No On 8

What.....The Hell....

Dedicated To Thomas

God Prefers Atheists

Yes, Vista Is Still Total Crap

Newsweek - "Nobody here looks at Vista as a fiasco," says Brad Brooks, a Microsoft marketing vice president. If that's true, and nobody at Microsoft thinks Vista has been a public-relations nightmare, then the company is in trouble.

Breaking: Jordin Sparks' Promise Ring Becomes Lodged In Her Own Ass

The wonderful Jordin Sparks caused a bit of a stir at the MTV VMA Awards by saying this:

I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK

And yes...it sounded as irritating as you're picturing it.

First of all, saying you don't want to have sex when you look like Jordin Sparks is convenient at best...although I'm sure some folks are interested in doing her...provided they're in prison or really into trannies.

Second of all, the psychology community generally agrees with this guy.

It is probably a nice thing that we have celebrities who are trying to be role models and model healthy behaviors,” said Michael Reece, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University.

“But these abstinence pledges leave people completely unprepared, once they make the decision to become sexually active, and what happens is that we have a society that is sexually illiterate,” Reece told Reuters.

So thanks but no thanks Jordin, for trying to help today's young people live better lives...Next time try not being ignorant and fat.

It's So True!!!!

From Real Life Comics XDDDD

A Landscape Littered With White Trash

The Duggar Family sez: "We are so grateful to God to announce that Michelle is expecting our 18th child, due in January of 2009!"

*Thanks to Shaun for finding this pic...

My Obsession With All Things Cosby Knows No Bounds...

I think Cosby #8 is my favorite...

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Hmm...aside from the obvious, LA is about 300 miles north of where it should be.

International Insults!!!

Click here for the awesomeness...!!!!

Like Candy For The Soul

Most probably remember this from the opening sequence of Ghost World...being one of the more entertaining parts of the movie. Ahh Ghost World, back when Scarlett Johansson wasn't an 'it' girl. It's from an apparently awful Bollywood flick called Gumnaam...Anywho, enjoy.

Wait....It's Sad That He's Dead?....Really?

Indecision 2008 -

Some of the notable accomplishments of Senator Helms...

"* Said of Civil Rights protests: "The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that's thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men's rights."

* Forged personal alliances with Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet and Salvadoran death squad leader Roberto D'Aubuisson.

* Tried repeatedly to abolish the National Endowment for the Arts.

* Attempted to make African-American Sen. Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL) cry by singing "Dixie" repeatedly while in an elevator with her.

* Led a failed filibuster against the establishment of Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

* Announced in 1994 that if then-President Bill Clinton were to visit North Carolina, "He better have a bodyguard."

Quite a few news outlets seem to avoid the plain truth of who Jesse Helms really was by constantly reiterating that he was a staunch supporter of his principles and never wavered in the face of opposition. Here's the thing...on the surface it may seem like those are good qualities to have...but not when you're fucking Satan (and certainly not when you're Bush).

Jesse Helms was a tyrannical racist asshole :)

PS. The Wall Street Journal may as well be Fox News for those not in the know.

Wall-E Accused Of Being Lefist Propoganda

It was only a matter of time until conservatives decried the message of Wall-E. Without giving too much away, Wall-E is essentially a post-apocalyptic, environmental fable. Even I noticed that the social commentary was relatively brutal, which is perfectly fine with me :) Especially because it prompted right-wing tools to say things like this...

"Greg Pollowitz: It was like a 90-minute lecture on the dangers of over consumption, big corporations, and the destruction of the environment. … Much to Disney’s chagrin, I will do my part to avoid future environmental armageddon by boycotting any and all WALL-E merchandise and I hope others join my crusade."

"Jonah Goldberg: I agree with the charges of hypocrisy. I agree that the Malthusian fear mongering was annoying"

So let me get this straight, conservatives are accusing 'Wall-E' of Malthusian fear mongering? Ahahahahahahahaha XD I can taste the irony!

More Than Half Of Firearm Deaths Are Suicides

After the recent Supreme Court decision, I've been having debates about gun control with various people. This article points out what I've been saying for years. I am not against the 2nd Amendment by any means but that also doesn't mean that having a gun in the home makes any sense. The idea here is that if you have a gun in the home, it adds a considerable variable to the equation. In this particular case, CNN discusses suicide.

"Public-health researchers have concluded that in homes where guns are present, the likelihood that someone in the home will die from suicide or homicide is much greater."

"Studies have also shown that homes in which a suicide occurred were three to five times more likely to have a gun present than households that did not experience a suicide, even after accounting for other risk factors."

Perhaps the dialog needs to change from whether people should be able to have a gun at all, to whether or not it's a good idea. Most of the time, not even the biggest liberal hippies will support changing the constitution to suit their disdain for guns; changing the constitution for their own needs seems to be Republican territory ;) But let's at least acknowledge that having a gun in the home changes the game.

Are people that afraid to live in their home without a gun? Is someone stealing your TV worth their life (or yours)? What's the likelihood that one will find themselves in a situation where their family is being victimized by faceless evil-doers that somehow deserve to be shot....I suspect it's extraordinarily low. Either way, these folks ought to move to a better neighborhood.

In my own life, I've known four people who are now dead because of alcohol and having a gun in the house. In one case it was most likely depression, the other two were over a girl, and the fourth was over a dog that had been run over. It wasn't even his dog.

Bible Stories Told Through Lego...

The wisdom and emotion of the Bible come alive through an unforgettable narrative of Lego people...do enjoy.

All Aboard!

I don't know why I find this so funny...but Night Train Express (and Thunderbird) are wines specifically targeted toward bums. Apparently Night Train sells for $2.69 a bottle and is 18%.

"Some suspect that Night Train is really just Thunderbird with some Kool-Aid-like substance added to try to mask the Clorox flavor." - BumWine.com

The company that makes Night Train and Thunderbird doesn't even mention its existence on its web site and is not actually on the label. The wonky ethics behind these products make the Enron crew look like Boy Scouts. Fun!

Unfunny In Any Incarnation

Americans (and some other unlucky people around the world) might recognize who we've come to know as 'Larry The Cable Guy'. Well, turns out his redneck shtick is just that. Git R'Done...

Moron

Jeff Foxworthy has mildly entertained millions of Americans over the years. Nowadays, seems like he doesn't mind letting everyone know his political opinions. You can see him when he guests on CNN's Glenn Beck as they both seek to lower the IQ of their viewers.

"You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, because we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war, when necessary."
Jeff Foxworthy

Okay...you're a redneck...but not in the fun way. Thanks for sharing :)

The Story Of My Life...

I've been this guy more times than I'd like to remember. I'm mildly lactose intolerant (luckily I haven't had a reaction in years) and my digestive system works when it feels like it. Thankfully, it's almost always funny after the fact!

Highest Ridership Ever!

From CNN

"May was the biggest month in Amtrak's 37-year history, with total ridership up 12 percent over last year and ticket revenue up 16 percent over last year. Black said Amtrak's marketing research indicates that about half the increase can be attributed to gas prices."

Amtrak finally has its day. I'm a train fanatic from way back, and in recent years Amtrak has been in danger from the Republican administration that hates the idea of subsidized rail travel. I agree that Amtrak should definitely set its goals toward self-sufficiency...but it's government run, so clearly it's up to them. Anyhow, train travel rocks. And unlike the plane, I can travel without having a protracted anxiety attack :)

Ahh The Japanese....

If you haven't heard of Japanese tentacle porn then you're missing out. For some strange reason I found myself in a situation where I was explaining it to someone else and I came across this piece of art...from 1820 of all things! Enjoy...

Introduction

Welcome to my blog. The information you will gain here is of such importance it borders on the absurd. Thank you for being my traveling companion on my blogging journey.